Moving toward the end with an Indian wedding.

Since half of my last post was about Goa, I probably should refrain from continuing my experience… but it was great!

Onto the week:

With my extended vacation over in Goa, it was back to work…. NOT! One more day off, which was one of the best cultural experiences of my whole trip. I was invited by Mr. and Mrs. Daback to attend a good friend of theirs wedding! Meaning, not only did I get to be present at an Indian wedding, I also got to play dress up to play the part. Apparently Indian festivals can stretch as much as four to five days, probably longer. I am sure all of the festivities would have been so much fun, but I only attended two.

I could only ask so many questions without sounding overbearing but I think I got the jist of most of it. So like everything else I will attempt to explain it to the best of my ability.

November 29, Tuesday

Morning:

 Since I took the overnight train back from Goa, I arrived safely in Pune at 6 AM. Even though I can sleep through anything, it was a bumpy 13-hour ride stuck in the half-fetal position. I was in no shape to go back to work right away. When Dada came knocking on my door at 8 AM ready to leave, I had to refrain from trudging through hours at the hospital. I knew my time would be much better spent sleeping, as I would have a fun filled night ahead of me. I woke up mid afternoon and the preparations for the wedding had to begin. Since I was a guest and had to dress up, I needed to find the right outfit. Apurva, Shamika and I went to the fabric shop where I bought myself new saree. A saree is the Indian traditional wear. The majority of the population wear sareers as often as Americans wear jeans; the other traditional Indian outfit is a Punjabi dress. A saree is 5 meters of fabric and a Punjabi  is just a long blouse and pants and much, much easier to put on. Or so I discovered.

Three woman + Shelane + saree = at least 30 minutes of saree confusion. 

Shamika, Apurva and her mom were all trying to dress me, but since they were all progressive women they did not often wear sarees themselves. It was a confusing, intricate, but hilarious project. It is quite the feat to wrap 5 meters of the same fabric around your body several times, and still have it look nice with proper angles and pleats. Anyway, I (or we) finally got it on and it was off to the wedding. Had to have at least one good shot of the final product.

Evening, around 8 PM:

Refreshed with a morning snooze and a new Indian outfit I was ready to experience my first Indian wedding. The actual wedding was November 30^th at 11:15 AM, but the night before is equally as important. Indian tradition is very male dominated. While India is continually moving toward a further progressive society, many of the rituals performed at a wedding are still the same as they were 100, 200, 500 or even a 1000 years ago; they just might not hold such a serious connotation anymore. We arrived around 8:30 PM and the evening had already begun. The first things I noticed were the decoration. Although the actual marriage hall was simple, all of the ornaments and décor were detailed down to the last flower petal. Indians have incredible hand art. What I mean by that is sand art, henna are, rice art, flower art and assume many many more forms. Pictures are the only things that can put it in to perspective. For example, the first thing that caught my eye when I walked into the hall: an incredibly intricate “welcome to our wedding” (clearly written in a mahrati prayer) design made from sand. Wow. 

At this point the questions start flooding from my mouth and Mrs. Dabak did her best to answer them as she could.

So I figure I will do my blog post in a similar fashion. Since I honestly didn’t know what was going on, and most of my readers wont either. Let’s do a P & A (picture and answer) instead of a Q & A (question and answer)

The next thing that caught my eye was this beautiful pathway  of flower petals. The night before the wedding is mainly about the groom. This pathway is his grande entrance; he walks down an isle of flowers to reach center stage. Sound familiar?... Sounds like a fabulous entrance to me. I think I may have to incorporate this into my OWN wedding. Instead of a flower girl, I want the flower petals already in place. Then the bride (aka me) can walk down an aisle of flowers.

All of the women attendees were ’blessed’ by tradition; I was also. A finger amount of red powder between the eyebrows and flowers to put in your hair; both significant parts to the wedding customs.

The main reason for this gathering to reiterate the link of families marriage brings. Father and Father switch coconuts, brother and brother swap coconuts, grandfather and grandfather swap coconuts. Coconuts clearly play a huge role in the union of families. I know they are significant but I don’t have the answer to the question why. This act means that the two families are now one and will remain one for life eternal.

The bride also takes an oath to fully accept the in-laws family and traditions. Traditionally the bride is given as a present to the groom’s family. She leaves behind her personal routine and joins her in-laws. The marriage consists of highly decorated wardrobe. I snapped this picture that demonstrates both the brides gorgeous ornamental garb, but also her deep fixation in the mantras the priest is reading aloud. 

The few small ceremonies were over for the night, so it was dinner, mingling and photographs. Lots of photographs, many which are not pictured

One with Mr. and Mrs. Dabak and I.

One with the grooms mother and father who also invited me to the celebration

It was such a treat to be there in attendance, everyone was so thankful and happy. Of course, with most any Indian tradition the celebration ended with A LOT of food. 

Apparently having a foreigner at your wedding is a huge blessing. I followed tradition, wore a saree and put the flower of grace and goodluck in my hair; people were appreciative of my participation. It was as  if people were honored I took part in the nuptials appropriately. I felt happy to be at a wedding, looking all dressed up and pretty, and thankful that everyone enjoyed my full attendance

November 30, Wednesday

The wedding.

It was an early morning. The official wedding time was 11:15, but unlike America that is what time the wedding is over, not begins.  I arrived at Mr. and Mrs. Dabaks house around 7:30 AM. I was already dressed in my saree as Manish is an expert saree dresser. She made it with perfect pleats and angles. I got comments on its perfection, so I knew it had to done well.

Of course since it was my first time in a saree I had to do a photo shoot, this time I was by myself. It was a serious photo shoot, but I got some good ones.

I had fun taking pictures, can you tell?... and there many, many more!

We arrived at the wedding about 9 AM, and the routine had already begun. This is where many of the mantras and rituals begin that I don’t completely understand, but I will try. Mrs. Dabak was kind enough to explain them to me… but my short term memory was never that good. 

Each aspect of the rituals was offerings and/or blessings given to the gods. They honored water, earth, fire, and space. The priest would give instructions and the bride and groom would follow. These mantras are very important as they tie the bond of marriage even tighter. This is bond of earth or some other essence (I think).

This is the union of water. If you look closely you can see the water falling between the bride and groom’s clasped hands.

This is the ceremony of fire. This was dramatic with emotion and tradition.

The fire burned much longer than any other element, and was used multiple times.

I chose these pictures to show the decoration of the bride and groom.

The reason Indian weddings are so lengthy is because of the many rituals. I have several, several pictures of different ceremonies, but it would be impossible to post them all. This is a given mantra demonstrating the union, literally of the bride and groom. The sisters assist in this particular ceremony, passing the blessed thread around and around. 

There also henna parties, bangles/jewelry parties, gift of a saree to the bride from the mother in-law, gifts from the brides family to the groom. New dowry and offerings are given throughout the marriage rituals. Many, many more parties, traditional ceremonies, family observances and customs occur too. A large portion of the weddings is prayer and mantras given by the priest. There are two priests in included who have been trained to recite the proper marriage formal procedure. From what I heard they are paid very well for their short time of contribution and role they play. Important nonetheless.  

One of the other rituals I thought was impressive in thought; was the seven steps of vows. On a pathway encircled with flowers seven bunches of petals were laid down in a line.

The groom then held his brides hand and slowly walked her along the seven steps. This ritual serves two purposes, it is one of the first times they could be intimate enough to make skin contact and it also is the bride’s commitment to her husband and soon to be in-laws. Each step is a promise commit fully to her ‘new’ family. This is one specific ritual that is still performed, but does not hold the same significance it once did. In past centuries it was the bride ‘giving’ herself to her ‘new’ physically and mentally. Traditionally she would rid herself of her own values, ideals and family and fully grant herself to the groom and his relatives. Her mom and dad would will their daughter. They had passed the coconuts the night before so the deal was sealed.

The end of ceremony happened with a change of clothes and on the sage at 11:05 AM. Another prayer was said and precisely at 11:15 the curtain that separated them was dropped (you can see the curtain if you look closely). The wedding invitations said 11:15, and my assumption was that when it started. No. That is what time the climax of the wedding occurs.

With the wedding finished both the bride and groom were highly decorated in shawls and flowers granting good luck, love wealth and combined prosperity. 

Celebration continued with royal-like chairs for personal congratulations.

Many people were in attendance so the bride and groom had many hand shaking and hugs. Mingling at its highest, just like American weddings.

A decorated car with a dramatic exit (sound familiar).

I am sure it would have helped if I knew exactly what was going on, but I hope you get the jist of it.

Late afternoon:

The wedding was over and we left with happy smiles. Personally I like weddings, how can you not love a room filled with so much love.  This, was a love marriage and not an arranged marriage

I still had many hours of sunlight and as my days in India are dwindling I wanted to spend them being productive; so I went to the Pune museum. The proper name is The Rajaadinkar Kelkar Museum. It was started by Rajaadinkar Kelkar, and he was a artifact collector by hobby.  A hobby that turned a into a three story complex of Indian history. Most of the artifacts had some correlation to the state of Maharashtra, but others were general relics. 

Since I felt culturally beautiful and was having fun in my saree I wanted to keep it on for the rest of the day. So I did! I received many looks some both good and bad, I think. Nonetheless I had a great time walking around the museum, regardless of any looks. 

Since I love history, century old cooking utensils, clothes, hookah and archaic statues fascinated me for hours. Picture taking was a charge of 150 rps, but with my ninja skills I took these pictures charge free. One of the guards even took this picture of me (no flash in museums) next to a 300-year-old sculpture. Fascinating. 

December 1^st, Thursday
(Note: this day was a graphic day, so graphic picture included)

ITS DECEMBER!!!!! Where has time gone? December first meant that nine days later I would be on a flight back to the Untied States, and back to home. Sad and glad, all at the same time.

Thursday it was back to Siddhi Hospital, and back to work with Dr. Kothavale and his crew. He called Dada earlier than expected (I was supposed to show up at 10 or so). There were many procedures to be done, and he wanted me to be there to both observe and assist. Surgery line up starting at 8 AM:

Laparoscopic hysterectomy

MTP- Medical termination of pregnancy

Laparoscopic hysterectomy and ovarian cyst removal

MTP- Medical termination of pregnancy

I was lucky enough to help in the second Laparoscopic hysterectomy. I watched the first process to familiarize myself with the procedure and then, I was invited to assist!

My first duty: assisting the anesthesiologist. He completed the lumbar puncture/spinal tap, and administered the general anesthetic. It was my job to periodically check the blood pressure and double team as the women’ lungs with the ventilator. 

Since Siddih Hospital is still developing, an automated ventilator is out of the question. Also, since the power goes out so often, a machine requiring electricity would not be favorable. I was keeping the patient alive by supplying her oxygen through a hand pump.

This is a special entry: An anatomy of female genitalia lesson. Some real pictures have been included, but I promise they are not that bad. Keep reading with your mind and eyes open.

This is the female reproductive system. 

This is the uterus that was removed. Very small in its original size.

I showed these pictures because I want my readers to understand what I am describing. Fact of the day: When the woman is pregnant, the uterus stretches as large as a volleyball or football to hold the growing fetus.

Huge! These pictures are for you Brittany! (A friend in the US that is pregnant)

My second job was assisting the gynecologist. It was Dr. Kothavale and his crew’s job to cauterize and detach the uterus from the fallopian tubes and ovaries. It was ll done laparoscopically. No large incisions included.  It was my job, using large tweezers to remove the uterus from the pelvis. This is the last step in the procedure, so I was lucky enough to complete the hysterectomy.

Two other things that happened on this particular Thursday.

1. An India –wide protest occurred. Apparently the government is going to open a chain of large American general stores. Sounds familiar. All shops in India closed until 5-ish. The shopping complexes were eerily empty.

 2. As a treat, and thank you present for Manisha, I bought her a saree.  Of course we had to go shopping. So many fabrics, so little time!!!

December 2, Friday

Traveling again for the weekend. This stop: Mumbai. Details of Mumbai and my weekend will be included in my next post.  So stay tuned!

Side commentary: What a short workweek for me. Only a few hours at the hospital, and I actually missed it. I was so busy enjoying other aspects of India I just didn’t have the time to be at the hospital all 5 days. I had semi-withdrawals not being able to be with the patients.

However ……

Getting rest after Goa before the Indian wedding > work

Indian wedding and festivities > work

Traveling India > work

I wouldn’t have had  the week go any other way. It may have been a short workweek, but an extra day in Goa and the Indian wedding was unforgettably amazing!

See you all in a week!

Xoxo,

India and Shelane